House Rules: Who Should Pay on a First Date

Ahem. This is one of those topics that has been done to death on the internet, radio, TV… just about everywhere. Asking who should pay on the first date is pretty much like saying “Please beat me over the head with your reactionary and ill-considered opinions until I never want to date again.” Any attempt at sincere discussion inevitably devolves into a misguided understanding of Feminism, Chivalry, Economics, Sexual Politics, Chauvinism, etc. etc. etc. While the Chop has heard plenty of opinions, we’ve yet to add our own voice to the fray, until now.

The Chop knows whereof we speak on this one. We’ve been on enough dates of all sorts, including free, that one method of financing them stands out as far and away the best.

While we do sort of subscribe to the old rule of “the one who asked for the date should offer to pay”, we find it absolutely works best when we pay for dinner and she offers to pay for the movie or drinks or whatever comes next. It’s really the only system that’s foolproof against trying to split things between credit cards, trying to be overly judicious about fairness or devolving into score-keeping.

We’ve found that when both parties bring an abundance of generosity to the table, everyone gets the best of both worlds. It works well for all involved.

We’re glad to pay the bar tab, but if she’s buying us drinks we know she’s a keeper.

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2 Comments

Filed under House Rules

2 responses to “House Rules: Who Should Pay on a First Date

  1. Maybe each person should pay for their own meal…separate checks?

    • While okay in theory, there’s two major problems with separate checks; you have to agree to them in advance, which is decidedly unromantic and will get the date off on the wrong foot every time, also, your server will give you a huge eyeroll and probably treat your table like shit for the duration of the meal.

      I’ve always felt like eating dinner is something you do together, and a first date is (ideally) the beginning of a relationship. Trying to stay separate is antithetical to that, I think.

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