Top 10 Signs You’re Too Old to Be at the Hardcore Show

It doesn’t matter who you are, you’re going to grow out of hardcore. It happens to all of us sooner or later. Even the legit, bona-fide True Til Death types among us will eventually stick with the records they grew up with, and turn out to shows less and less often.

There’s no denying it: hardcore is a young man’s game. While there’s no age limit on a dance floor, there are some unmistakable signs that you’re too old to be on it…

Sacred Love plays CCAS tonight. 7 pm doors.

10. You shave your head to hide baldness, not to look tough.

9. You only wear your New Balance sneakers and Adidas shorts to the gym.

8. You actually go to the gym, and don’t make any jokes about hating ‘the jocks.’

7. You’re asking your wife to hold your coat.

6. You’re not wearing anything with varsity font writing on it.

5. You understand that getting ‘stabbed in the back’ happens all the time and isn’t worth writing a song about.

4. You only round up your crew when someone gets married or dies.

3. You’ve ever described a straight edge tattoo as ‘cute’ with a knowing snicker.

2. Records that you own became collectible while sitting on your shelf.

1. You had a Krishna phase.

We’re probably gonna go out to the hardcore show at the Charm City Art Space tonight, even though according to this list we’re way too old for it. Connecticut’s Death Threat are coming down to play with Youngblood Records’ Sacred Love. Alpha and Omega, Expire, and Dead and Dreaming are also on the bill.

Five bands… we may need a nap in between.

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Charm City Art Space is located at 1731 Maryland Avenue in Station North. All Ages.

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4 Comments

Filed under Baltimore Events, Chop Rants!, shows

4 responses to “Top 10 Signs You’re Too Old to Be at the Hardcore Show

  1. Josh

    11. “You’ve changed!” isn’t necessarily a terrible pejorative.

  2. Michael

    Wow, 9 out 10. I never had a Krishna stage, but I was a vegetarian.

  3. still in it

    12. you make dated references to styles that haven’t been popular in about ten years.

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