Category Archives: Art Openings

100 Heads for Haiti Opens @ SPUR Gallery Tonight

Well, the Chop has been miserably sick with common cold this week, and as much as we wish it were so, all that Jim Beam and Ginger we drank at Opening Day yesterday is not exactly a curative elixir. So we’re going to be brief today.

We’d like to tell you about all the very cool stuff that’s going on in town tonight. If we could we’d be five places at once. We’ll have to settle for telling you where we’re actually going though, which is the 100 Heads for Haiti opening at SPUR Gallery.

100 Heads for Haiti opens tonight at Spur Gallery (which looks vaguely Hatian, but is actually in Hampden, Hon.) 6 pm - 8:30 pm.

100 heads is an idea so simple it’s brilliant. 100 artists have donated work on the theme of Heads, which will all be priced at $100. After they’ve all sold, SPUR will donate $10,000 to Doctors Without Borders, who are doing a lot of the heavy lifting down in Haiti.

There is also a group poster of the heads, with prints available for a $50 donation.

Since it’s for charity and all, the Chop might just fuck around and hit our two-piece-per-customer limit. We’ve heard from an inside source that some of these heads are jaw-dropping pieces of art, and at that price, we’ll jump at the chance to get some more work on our walls. Even Juxtapoz is giving the show some love.

After the show we’re heading downtown to a mustache themed party we were invited to. The Chop has been letting the beard grow all week, and Saturday afternoon we’ll mow it all down and rock a sweet ‘stache, which will in turn me mown down Sunday morning (Sorry, ladies.)

We’ve got very mixed feelings about such ironically themed parties. Most of us thinks that irony is dumb and you should outgrow it at about 23. Then another part of us says ‘Who the fuck are you too cool for? Your friend was nice enough to invite you so get the fuck over yourself, grow a mustache, go drink beer with your friends and have fun!’ So you can see the dilemma. The Chop skipped the Jortz party, which was definitely a theme too far. But we’re rocking a ‘stache tonight.

Laugh if you will.


Spur Design’s gallery is at 3504 Ash Street in Hampden. Exhibition opens tonight from 6- 8:30 pm. For more info: or

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First Fridays @ the Walters Tonight

Got a calendar Baltimore? You need one nowadays to keep track of all the First Fridays and Second Saturdays and Third Thursdays they’ve been throwing at us lately. Of course, if you have a calendar, you’ve probably noticed that it’s Spring. Like for real. So it’s the perfect time to check out the First Fridays event at the Walters tonight.

The Walters is open for First Fridays tonight. 5:30-8:30 pm.

They’re doing a whole near-east, silk road type theme for tonight, which (presumably) includes the Islamic Manuscripts Collection. They’re serving “Persian Punch” anyway, which is kind of funny since, you know, Muslims are forbidden to drink and all.

Seems to us this First Fridays was a whole big thing in Mount Vernon, before the long hard winter struck. But we might be thinking of something else, since like we said, we can’t keep track. We don’t know if 1stFri extends neighborhood wide tonight, but either way a fine spring Friday happy hour is the perfect time to amble around Mount Vernon. 1stFri or no, we predict that the streets will be humming, the weather will be glorious, and everyone will be festive.

It’s times like this where you really get the best of what Baltimore has to offer. If we haven’t said it before, we really love living here.

Once the sun goes down we might head up to the Ottobar for Fiery Furnaces. Or we might skip the hipster overload and sit out on the deck with a bottle of wine. Either way it’s a great start to the weekend.

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Pigment Opening at Gallery 788 Tonight

April Fool’s Day. Another one of our least favorite holidays. Fair warning: if anyone tries to play a joke on the Chop, we’re going to start punching cocks. It will be your own fault if your cock gets punched.

Don’t get us wrong. We love jokes. We even love jokes on us any other day of the year. But this April Fool’s shite is kind of like the Tooth Fairy… you should have outgrown it by the time you hit middle school.

So we’re going to give it to you straight… there’s not much doing tonight. Fortunately, Gutter Daily tipped us off to this tattoo themed group show opening at Gallery 788. Shit is no joke.

Pigment show opens tonight at Galley 788. 6-10 pm.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen any tattoo themed art, and it’s been even longer since we had anything to do with Pigtown. Washington Village might as well be over the Berlin Wall, as far as we can tell. In fact, it’s doubtful we’ve been there socially since the days of the Virgin House. Which was a long, long, long time ago.

The Chop actually did consider Pigtown when we were house-hunting last Summer. It’s an up-and-coming, artsy neighborhood, you know. Problem is, when we put our boots on the ground, we saw mostly all the same junkies and alcoholics hanging on the corners that we remembered from 15 years ago. It’s one of those spots that’s always up-and-coming but never actually coming up.

We wish all the best to 788 though, and we’re excited to see what’s up. If they keep curating and installing stuff like this, maybe they can finally tempt the rest of us over the Berlin Wall once in a while.

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Secret Mountains, Hop Along @ Hexagon Tonight

It’s Friday Baltimore. Ease up a little. You’ve been busting ass and running yourself ragged all week… don’t think we haven’t noticed. So tonight it’s all about taking it easy. Slow and Low, that’s the word today.

And we’re in luck again, cause after you hit that post-work happy hour and nosh on something spring-timey and delicious, there’s really no better way to decompress that with Baltimore’s own Secret Mountains, playing at the Hexagon tonight.

Secret Mountains play the Hexagon w/ Hop Along tonight. 9 pm.

Aural States says that SM’s Kaddish EP is “nothing short of breathtaking.” We say that quiet is the new hard, and these guys sound like Mazzy Star. Don’t get us wrong though: what we mean to say is that they are as good as Mazzy Star. In our book, that’s no faint praise.

They’re supported on this bill by Philly’s Hop Along, which you may also know as Hop Along Queen Ansleis. They’ve played Baltimore plenty before, but we haven’t heard much from them recently. If you haven’t checked them out yet, you really should. Rounding out the bill is Dangerous Ponies and Lithuania.

The show tonight is BYOB, so we’ll probably strap on our trusty steel flask, which we get a lot more use out of than we thought we would when we bought it. We’re also planning to stop by the Windup Space beforehand and have a few cocktails while we check out their visual exhibit, Coupling: Selections from the Baker Artist Awards, which just opened on Wednesday.

Our walls in the new house are still entirely bare, and now that Value City finally got around to delivering the new bedroom furniture (half-assed customer service, to be sure, but the room is strictly big-pimpin’), we have an idea of exactly what we’ll need for that room, canvas-wise. If the work is up to snuff, we might even break out our checkbook.

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Date Night

Wasting no time, the Chop picked up the phone and got himself a date for his first Friday night back in town. Maybe not what you’d call a hot date, but we’re keeping our mind well open, since the nature of our work precludes much interaction with the fairer sex while we’re abroad.

And while dating girls in college (no, not grad school, but actual college is one of those things that most men want to do as much as possible while they still can, we’ve found that it doesn’t usually work so well in real life. We fear we’re in for an evening of listening to inane pop-culture references, youthful know-it-all-ism, and statements like “I listen to anything that has a good beat…”

Fortunately, there’s no shortage of dateworthy events in town tonight. We’ll see where we end up.

CA residents' open house is tonight, 7pm.

It might be over to the Creative Alliance for their Residents’ Open House. See the opening, have some cocktails, and watch Celebration play an acoustic set for free. Hard to go wrong there.

Then again, if she doesn’t fancy herself highbrow, we might get up to the Metro Gallery for Humiliated III, cause hey… why not make a potentially awkward date even more awkward by listening to stories about other awkward dates. Very meta. It could go really well for us, or really badly. Probably no in-between.

Humiliated III @ Metro Gallery, 8pm.

Of course, if it does go well, the laughs don’t end as Bar Bacon hits the Golden West tonight at 11:00. We might suggest it as an afterthought, or might drop her off early and slide in there solo. Either way, its a good night.

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