Category Archives: Other

Reptilian Records Retrospective @ Windup Space Tonight

You know, we just don’t hear the phrase “Hail Satan” often enough anymore.

Time was when you could walk down any street in Fells Point on a Sunday afternoon and cross a group of kids with bags of records in hand walking around on nearly every block. The common parlance in those days wasn’t “Hello” or “How do you do?” It was Hail Satan. It was the Dark Lord Himself who provided free pizza in those days, as well as coffee and protection from alcoholic bums.

Reptilian Records hosts a retrospective at the Windup Space tonight. 9 pm.

Reptilian still exists in some form. Much like Lucifer, it cannot ever truly die, but it’s powers have weakened severely in recent years. There’s a website, and even a facebook presence, and the label is still a somewhat active entity in conjunction with the Scapegoat Publishing imprint.

Sadly though, this is only a shadow of the demonic glory that was Reptilian in the Fells Point years. We remember when they sold not only records and CD’s, but also cassettes and VHS, not to mention comics, toys and t-shirts as well as hosting live shows and running the biggest and best label in the area.

We can only hope that tonight’s retrospective at the Windup Space will recapture some of the dark powers of the Salute to Satan events of old. Marking Reptilian’s 21st unholy anniversary, this one-night-only event could easily be the centerpiece exhibit in a museum of mid-atlantic punk. Just looking over some of the online photos we recognized a lot of friends looking young and dumb and up the punx, but thankfully no photos of the Chop in there.

Aside from pics at the store, there will also be photos and video from shows at some of Baltimore’s Dead Venues, as well as the premiere of the Upper Crust DVD, which was shot at the Ottobar so long ago that we’ve already forgot what year it was, and perhaps a few other surprises, Hail Satan.

If you grew up punk in Baltimore, you’re going to need to come by tonight for what will feel more like a family reunion than anything else. This is what holidays are all about, and tonight promises to be the blackest Black Friday yet.

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Windup Space is located at 12 W. North Ave. in Station North.

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O’Malley/ Mikulski Victory Party @ AVAM Tonight

Election nights can be a tough time for political geeks. For those of us who follow politics as a spectator sport, a mid-term election may not be the Superbowl, but it’s at least equivalent to an NFL playoff game. It’s something we get excited about. It’s something we don’t want to sit around and watch alone. It needs to be shared with other political geeks, and not the ones on the Daily Kos message boards either. For nights like tonight, it’s time to turn off the internet and treat this election like the event that it is.

Problem is, you can’t have a house party, because all your friends are going to work tomorrow, and because frankly, the national outlook isn’t primed for a festive atmosphere. Some Great parties were thrown when Obama was elected, but that was a whole different animal politically.

If there's any governor in these 50 states that knows how to throw a party, you can bet it's Martin O'Malley.

Strangely enough, Baltimore also lacks a true-blue Democratic stronghold bar. You could argue that nearly every bar is a stronghold Democratic bar, and even make a case for certain spots near city hall and the Sun newsroom, but we haven’t quite got the Democratic equivalent of a Ropewalk. Where’s the bronze bust of Bill Clinton, eh?

So for those of us looking to make a party out of election night, the only place left to go is straight to the candidates themselves. You can get tears in your beer over at Ehrlich headquarters, but your best bet for tonight is to show up to the AVAM and party with the likes of Martin O’Malley and Senator Barb.

Official celebrations are always nice, mostly because they’re financed with campaign dollars. While this might seem wasteful at first blush, in the real world you can’t possibly have underpaid staffers and volunteers working long hours, evenings and weekends, including really long hours doing ‘get out the vote’ on election day and then not throw a party at the end. It would be a slap in the face to your entire staff and all your supporters. If you didn’t donate or volunteer, then shame on you, but you can still come out and enjoy the fun (Don’t get your hopes up for open bar though. Gotta keep the war chest full for the next cycle).

Tonight’s event is free to the public, and opens up at 7:30, officially beginning at 8 pm when the polls close. Election results will be broadcast and speeches will be made, and the AVAM looks to be one of the brightest spots on a pretty dim electoral night. If nothing else, it’s a good excuse to hit a free buffet (Who feels like cooking on a Tuesday?) and throw on some ritzy clothes. And don’t forget to sport tonight’s sexiest accessory… that little I voted sticker.

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Voting is a great habit to build, and beginning today you can vote for the Baltimore Chop every day in the Baltimore Sun’s Mobbies blog competition. This blog is nominated in 3 categories (Music/Nightlife, Personal, and Misfits), and we’d really like your vote. It only takes a second to register at baltimoresun.com, and after that you can vote for the Chop once a day until November 12. After all, we write this blog every single day to keep you up on shows, parties, culture, fashion, politics, booze and the rest, so why not vote every day?

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Die Hacken Geht Oktoberfest!

Hey Chop, are you going to Oktoberfest at the Fairgrounds today? Of course we are. Don’t be dumb. We’ve been sweating and swearing in the goddamn desert for the last 3 months, drinking naught but mere element and dreaming of beer and fall weather. There is no way under the sun we’d miss this.

Oh. Are you going to go there by light rail? Certainly! That thing is only good for going to 3 places anyway… the airport, the stadium, and the fairgrounds. When the order of the day is nothing but revelry and rabble-rousing, designated driving is out of the question. Besides, any jackass can sing off key polkas at the top of his lungs in a car. We plan to do it on the train, where you can get a really pukka singalong going if you do it right.

Das ist eine riesige Hündin.

Cool. Do you think you might check out the wife carrying competition? What’s the matter with you!?!?! Wife carrying is our favorite sport ever! Even more than demolition derby and midget wrestling! We don’t even care if it’s not actually German. you’re damn right we’re going to watch it, and maybe even bet on it.

Wait a minute. This is a lot of day drinking. It runs from noon ’til six. What’s up for the rest of the night?
Well, the last time we did any German drinking we stuffed ourselves silly with kraut and beets and cheeses and dumplings and of course, beer. We’re planning on shoving anything we can get our hands on into our greedy, dirty maw, and if history is any indication we’re probably going to flopped out on the bed in a bloated, bleary stupor by about 7 or 7:30. The rest of the night is reserved for watching playoff baseball, eating Tums by the dozen, and enjoying the empty house while Roommate is in NYC for the weekend.

Kind of sounds like you’re a sad old man.

Yeah. Probably am.

And you’re okay with that?

Yep.

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Cheers! The Culture of Drink in Early Maryland @ Homewood Museum

If you know the Chop at all, you know that we’re the type to take our drinking very, very seriously. Of course, we strongly believe in drinking responsibly, but to us ‘drinking responsibly’ doesn’t just mean taking a cab or laying off the Jaeger shots… it means drinking the right way.

So, we’re trying to buy a dining room group at the moment. This is a task which has so far required no shortage of time and effort in straining our eyes to look online and driving to and fro from store to store to deal with salesmen and parse the differences between “cherry” and “cherry satin”. It will undoubtedly require yet more effort in painting, wallpapering, and possibly even installing new lighting. This is not to mention considerable expense.

A drawing room at 1515 Linden Avenue in Reservoir Hill, 1886. Photo courtesy MD Historical Society.

But you may ask, “Chop, you’re a single bachelor. Most of your meals consist of Midnight Snacks on the couch. What do you need with a fancy-schmancy table?” Well, you’re right. The table and chairs are mostly an afterthought. What we’re actually shopping for, and what will be the true centerpiece of the room, is the bar.

It’s well known that our grandfathers were better drinkers than we are. The Chop’s own grandfathers are a case in point. Do you think they ever drank beer from “aluminum bottles”, or asked if their wine was “bio-dynamic”, or mixed anything with Red Bull? Of course not. They learned to drink in World War II.

But what about our grandfathers’ grandfathers? The landed gentry and patriarchs of the Old Line State? How did they drink? For they are the ones we should be emulating if we really want to do it right. Cask Madeira, Terrapin Stew and 20 year rye? Yes, please.

This is why, before we rebuild our bar this Fall, we’re going to stroll over to the Homewood Museum and have a look at their exhibit Cheers! The Culture of Drink in Early Maryland.

The exhibition is on view as part of the regular Homewood tour, and focuses on how the Carrolls and other early families procured, stored, served and sipped their wines and whiskies.

While we’re at it, we might even come back tomorrow for the Museum’s Historic Home Brews talk and tasting featuring Baltimore native and Stillwater Ales founder Brian Strumke as part of the 2010 Baltimore Beer Week. If you can’t make it down to the Museum of Industry for the Official Opening Tap Ceremony you can still taste some of the best beer in Maryland right here at Homewood, just in time for Friday happy hour.

Cheers.

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Tapping ceremony and home brews tasting require advance registration. See bbweek.com for more information on all beer week events. The Culture of Drink exhibit runs from Sep. 16 until Nov. 28 2010 from 11am-4pm Tue-Fri and 12-4 Sat & Sun.

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Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go @ Creative Alliance Tonight

What’s going on tonight Baltimore? Are any of the bands we like playing? No? Anyone opening a gallery maybe? No? Is there some sort of charitable benefit or political cause in which we can involve ourselves? No? Nothing coming to mind? Guess we’ll just have to go down to the Creative Alliance and see more beautiful women shake and strut and tell bawdy jokes. It’s a hard life sometimes.

Dangerous Curves turns your knuckles white at the Creative Alliance tonight. 8 pm.

The Dangerous Curves Ahead Tour is, as far as we know, the first of its kind with five of New York’s biggest burlesque names sharing the stage with local acts in over 20 cities from coast to coast (saving the best for last, of course). They’re hosted here in Charm City by our own Trixie Little and Monkey who are worth the $12 admission all on their own.

The Chop had a great time the last time we went to see burlesque, and judging by the sparse crowd in attendance due to the holiday weekend, we’re guessing you missed it, so we recommend getting down to the east side tonight. The Patterson may not be Alice Dean’s, but it’ll do!

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Creative Alliance at The Patterson is at 3134 Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown. 410-276-1651 $12, $10 for members. 8 pm.

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Throwdown Viewing Party, Live Music @ Mum’s Tonight

If you’ve been following this blog with any sort of regularity, you might already know that we’re definitely not a foodie, but you definitely know that the last thing we’ll recommend doing is watching primetime TV.  In a bizarre twist of fate tonight, that’s exactly what we’re recommending  in one of the most random events we can remember happening… ever. Tonight is the night that the Food Network is set to air the Dangerously Delicious episode of Throwdown with Bobby Flay.

The show will premiere at 9 pm, and Baltimore will be celebrating with a viewing party at South Baltimore’s own Mum’s. Yep. Mum’s. This is going to be sublime in so many ways.

If you know Mum’s at all, you know it’s not the kind of place that lacrosse players, condo-board types and tourists just stumble into on a whim. The show will not be competing with the World Cup or the NBA Finals for screen space. Nope, this is going to be a dedicated crowd, and they’re all going to be giving their full attention to booing, hissing and cursing Bobby Flay. And why not? It seems to us that there could be no more stark contrast in the culinary world than Flay and Rodney Henry. One is one of Baltimore’s prominent small businessmen who literally invented what he’s made from nothing. The passion and dedication that Henry has poured into his shop comes through in each bite, and he certainly deserves every bit of success he’s found. He can also rock a hat better than just about anyone in Baltimore. The other is a grating prettyboy with a rich-kid attitude who revels in his own celebrity and is the antithesis of everything Baltimore is about.

The Chop loves us some quiche, and broccoli mushroom cheddar quiche alll-most made our list of the top five late-night drunkfoods. We’re hoping the that the Dangerously Delicious crew will bring along a few varieties to go with Mum’s cheap drinks.

One thing we know the Pie Man will bring along is his guitar. In addition to the throwdown, tonight is one of the more unconventional bills you’ll find in the Baltimore music scene. We haven’t actually seen Rodney Henry play since his days in the Glenmont Popes, and the last time we saw the Popes was right around the same time we got a driver’s license. So yeah, it’s been a while.

He’s also got H.R.’s Human Rights Band to agree to play. They don’t make too many appearances, so the chance to check them out at Mum’s is worth noting. There’s been a lot of talk on Baltimore streets about H.R. since that citypaper article came out a couple years ago. The Chop has heard plenty of gossip and rumors that we will not repeat here. We’re going to go see the man for ourselves.

The bill is going to be rounded out by the duo of Lazlo Lee and Heidi Lynn and Baltimore’s Link Wray influenced garage-a-billy Young Jaguars.

Come on Baltimore. It’s time to put your fork where your mouth is.

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Mum’s is at 1132 S. Hanover St. in Federal Hill. Doors at 8. Throwdown airs at 9, and will be re-run at midnight if you’re watching at home.

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Gilded Lily Burlesque @ Windup Space Tonight

“I hate my girlfriend, she she she
Lies on the beach like a barrier reef.
Soaking up the stupid sun,
While the radio is blasting; fun, fun fun!

I don’t wanna be on the beach, no fun!”

The Dead Milkmen said it best (ahem) 25 years ago in Beach Song, and their words still ring true today. The Chop has seen enough oceans that they’re not really a draw anymore, and price-wise OC is comprable to the Bahamas, Mexico, or any number of more exotic resorts. Somehow crappy paintings, sexist t-shirts and sand sculptures of Jesus just aren’t as exciting as they used to be.

Ocean City does have one big redeeming quality in its favor though… namely beautiful women wearing next-to-nothing and acting scandalously.

Gilded Lily Burlesque makes you say 'What beach?' at the Windup Space Tonight. 8 pm doors.

What’s that you say? We don’t have to sit through Bay Bridge traffic, suffer sunburns and get sand in our shorts? We can see the ravishingly raunchy vixens of Gilded Lily Burlesque at the Windup Space instead? Sold. Done. Front row, suckers!

And just like yesterday, we’re in prime position to sneak over to Load of Fun and hit up day one of the Wild Style Reunion.

But we hope you all have fun with your Buffett cover bands and jellyfish stings.

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The Windup Space is at 10 W. North Ave.

Load of Fun is at 120 W. North Ave.

And yes, we are a little bitter we’re not at the beach, Ok?

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