Tag Archives: Burlesque

Tomorrow: On The Block Screening @ Windup Space

Okay, okay. Simmer down a little. We know you’re excited because you feel like it’s Friday, even though it’s only Tuesday, and instead of spending the rest of the week at work you get to spend it stuffing your maw with turkey or tofurkey, or good tawny port, and starting your Christmas shopping and laying around in sweatpants watching movies.

All of that is preferable to your job where you’re underpaid, overworked, and under-appreciated. We get it. We know. But come tomorrow when it’s time to wash away the cares of the workweek with whiskey and gin, you’re not going to want to do it in just any bar. You’ll want to do it at the Windup Space.

On The Block screens at the Windup Space tomorrow night. 9 pm.

You already know that the Windup Space is the go-to spot for the very best in awful movies, and tonight the crew from Gutter Magazine has dug up a true cinematic gem for your viewing pleasure.

They managed to track down a VHS copy of On The Block, shot and released right here in Baltimore 20 years ago, and largely forgotten since. One look at this incredible trailer will convince you that this is something you need to see. Sex, drugs, vice, cops, drama, politics, depravity; On the Block gives the whole family something to be thankful for.

And that’s not all. Poppin’ Pietro spins for happy hour before Nikki Le Faye heats up the crowd with a burlesque routine from 8 o’clock until the feature begins at 9. Throw in drink specials and no cover for the night, and this is bound to go down as one of the highlights of the entire holiday season.

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Windup Space is located at 12 W. North Ave. in Station North.

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Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go @ Creative Alliance Tonight

What’s going on tonight Baltimore? Are any of the bands we like playing? No? Anyone opening a gallery maybe? No? Is there some sort of charitable benefit or political cause in which we can involve ourselves? No? Nothing coming to mind? Guess we’ll just have to go down to the Creative Alliance and see more beautiful women shake and strut and tell bawdy jokes. It’s a hard life sometimes.

Dangerous Curves turns your knuckles white at the Creative Alliance tonight. 8 pm.

The Dangerous Curves Ahead Tour is, as far as we know, the first of its kind with five of New York’s biggest burlesque names sharing the stage with local acts in over 20 cities from coast to coast (saving the best for last, of course). They’re hosted here in Charm City by our own Trixie Little and Monkey who are worth the $12 admission all on their own.

The Chop had a great time the last time we went to see burlesque, and judging by the sparse crowd in attendance due to the holiday weekend, we’re guessing you missed it, so we recommend getting down to the east side tonight. The Patterson may not be Alice Dean’s, but it’ll do!

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Creative Alliance at The Patterson is at 3134 Eastern Avenue in Highlandtown. 410-276-1651 $12, $10 for members. 8 pm.

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Gilded Lily Burlesque @ Windup Space Tonight

“I hate my girlfriend, she she she
Lies on the beach like a barrier reef.
Soaking up the stupid sun,
While the radio is blasting; fun, fun fun!

I don’t wanna be on the beach, no fun!”

The Dead Milkmen said it best (ahem) 25 years ago in Beach Song, and their words still ring true today. The Chop has seen enough oceans that they’re not really a draw anymore, and price-wise OC is comprable to the Bahamas, Mexico, or any number of more exotic resorts. Somehow crappy paintings, sexist t-shirts and sand sculptures of Jesus just aren’t as exciting as they used to be.

Ocean City does have one big redeeming quality in its favor though… namely beautiful women wearing next-to-nothing and acting scandalously.

Gilded Lily Burlesque makes you say 'What beach?' at the Windup Space Tonight. 8 pm doors.

What’s that you say? We don’t have to sit through Bay Bridge traffic, suffer sunburns and get sand in our shorts? We can see the ravishingly raunchy vixens of Gilded Lily Burlesque at the Windup Space instead? Sold. Done. Front row, suckers!

And just like yesterday, we’re in prime position to sneak over to Load of Fun and hit up day one of the Wild Style Reunion.

But we hope you all have fun with your Buffett cover bands and jellyfish stings.

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The Windup Space is at 10 W. North Ave.

Load of Fun is at 120 W. North Ave.

And yes, we are a little bitter we’re not at the beach, Ok?

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