Tag Archives: gawking

Don’t Break Your Neck Looking

Just a quick post today, since it’s Memorial Day and everyone is outside cooking on grills and hanging around the beach and not reading blogs anyway.

We’ve already seen a little of it, but with today being the traditional start of Summer, the women of Baltimore are all simultaneously about to head to Cloud 9 and South Moon Under to stock up on short-shorts, spaghetti straps, sundresses, and all of those other Summer staples we like… a lot.

A visual approximation of the Chop in early Summer.

It’s lucky for us that we’re still in pretty decent shape, because otherwise we’d be spending Memorial Day at Patient First getting treated for neck sprains after all the times our head’s spun round this past week. And why not? We’re single, huh? It’s been a long winter, and it’s only a few more weeks before we go back to the Middle East, which is not exactly South Beach, you know?

So we’re going to enjoy stealing glances at Summer outfits while we can. Ladies, keep the skirts short, the shoulders bare and the tan lines even. Men of Baltimore, take a tip from us; get in a few long looks- but try not to break your neck.

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Chop on the Spot: Crazy Ray’s

If Baltimore is a city sometimes known to celebrate the bizarre, the unusual and all things on the fringes, we’d posit that there may be no more bizarre place in the city than Crazy Ray’s auto parts on Erdman Avenue.

An automotive “graveyard” might be an apt description of the yard at Crazy Ray’s, although unlike an actual graveyard, nothing is buried here. Instead, these mechanical corpses are laid bare under the sun for the inspection of God and all. In various stages of weathering, disrepair and destruction the Beamers and Buicks meant to be a source of parts are as much a macabre museum of the American roadway.

With acres of autos providing a window into vehicular history and the lives of their former owners, Crazy Ray’s is one of our favorite places to explore in Baltimore, whether we need parts or not. Here are a few photos from a recent trip.

A relic of the Studio 54 cocaine party era.

Party like a rock star.

Your stickers may outlast your car.

Family fun in a conversion van. Next stop Wally World!

Pie in the sky.

Still pimp as hell.

Is it just me or was it hot in here?

This is why you don't try to cook meth in the back seat.

It may look like hell, but it smells Springtime fresh.

Watch out for the giant forklifts, because they might kill you.

A view of the neighboring trainyard and the Bayview hospital complex.

It's a 10 car pile-up.

Damn, I think I left my keys in the car...

A word of caution if you go though: Junkyards are really fucking dangerous places. Aside from the giant speeding forklifts pictured above, there’s also the possibility that a car will fall on you, since most of them are propped up on stacks of tires or little spare-tire jacks. There is also broken glass and twisted metal absolutely everywhere. We’d recommend the thickest-soled, sturdiest boots you have, a pair of jeans you wouldn’t mind staining, and long sleeves wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Even if you don’t get cut or bruised, you may still come out covered in oil, grease or other automotive fluids.

But of course, some people are into that sort of thing.

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