Tag Archives: Memorial Day Weekend

Don’t Break Your Neck Looking

Just a quick post today, since it’s Memorial Day and everyone is outside cooking on grills and hanging around the beach and not reading blogs anyway.

We’ve already seen a little of it, but with today being the traditional start of Summer, the women of Baltimore are all simultaneously about to head to Cloud 9 and South Moon Under to stock up on short-shorts, spaghetti straps, sundresses, and all of those other Summer staples we like… a lot.

A visual approximation of the Chop in early Summer.

It’s lucky for us that we’re still in pretty decent shape, because otherwise we’d be spending Memorial Day at Patient First getting treated for neck sprains after all the times our head’s spun round this past week. And why not? We’re single, huh? It’s been a long winter, and it’s only a few more weeks before we go back to the Middle East, which is not exactly South Beach, you know?

So we’re going to enjoy stealing glances at Summer outfits while we can. Ladies, keep the skirts short, the shoulders bare and the tan lines even. Men of Baltimore, take a tip from us; get in a few long looks- but try not to break your neck.

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Chop Style: Socks Are Not Optional

This image came from The Sartorialist, and it’s the perfect illustration of some of the shite that flies in NYC and Boston (and hell, maybe Atlanta, we don’t know) but will never, ever, ever be acceptable in Baltimore. It’s also one of the many reasons why we stopped paying attention to the Sartorialist a long time ago.

If you're wondering whether you can pull this off in Baltimore, you can't.

To reiterate: this look is dumb, Baltimore. Don’t do it. Don’t do it this summer or any summer. It doesn’t matter how nice the shoes are. It doesn’t matter how nice your feet are. It doesn’t even matter if you’re only running out to Whole Foods for a minute for whole grain donuts and the Sunday Sun. You must wear socks!

This doesn’t work on the Canton Square. It doesn’t work in Mount Washington Village. It doesn’t work in Locust Point, and it doesn’t even work on Light Street.

But if for some strange reason you simply must go around without socks, you’d do well to do it in something like these.

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The Chop’s Chatreuse Gimlet Cocktail Recipe

So we find ourselves in the thick of Memorial Day Weekend, and those of you that aren’t at the beach are probably spending today at some sort of cookout, potluck, garden party or other social event. In the spirit of the season, we’d like to humbly suggest you forgo the cheapie bottle of Australian Sauvignon Blanc and instead swing by Hopkins Deli for a more potent and memorable hostess gift; a bottle of Chartreuse.

As you already know, the Chop loves a classic cocktail. Unfortunately, we’re not big on gin, and very picky about rum (and not snobby picky… we like Bacardi). So when spring and summer roll around and it’s time to lighten up with the brown liquor, we find ourselves drinking too many things that taste like lemons and limes.

How can we add a little more flavor and still keep the vodka gimlet a crisp, refreshing, warm weather drink? The answer was simpler than we thought.

The Chartreuse gimlet will look similar to a traditional gimlet or daquiri.

This one’s another Baltimore Chop original as near as we can tell, and it took us a lot more tweaking than we thought it would. We’ve got a sweet tooth, so we started out by adding simple syrup, which was a mistake. The Chartreuse and citrus are sweet enough as-is, and you may even want to add a dash of bitters if it suits your taste.

Matters were also complicated by the fact that not all bars carry Chartreuse, although they probably should. A special hat tip is in order to Bad Decisions who not only carries green and yellow Chartreuse, but has a citrus press juicer behind the bar.

The Charteuse Gimlet

1 part Stolichnaya vodka

1 part Yellow Chartreuse

Juice of half a lime

It’s as simple as that. Shake, strain, and enjoy. Its got all the complexity of flavor you’d want in a gin gimlet, without the bitter, medicinal juniper taste of gin. As we said, you might like to add bitters, and if you do, we recommend Fee Brothers’ Grapefruit Bitters which will add a new note of complexity to the drink, without altering the flavor drastically. You can also try the green variety of Chartreuse, although in our experience the yellow is much more enjoyable in this cocktail.

A new twist to an old classic, a pitcher of these at today’s function will insure that everyone has a great weekend, and that no one actually remembers it.

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Gilded Lily Burlesque @ Windup Space Tonight

“I hate my girlfriend, she she she
Lies on the beach like a barrier reef.
Soaking up the stupid sun,
While the radio is blasting; fun, fun fun!

I don’t wanna be on the beach, no fun!”

The Dead Milkmen said it best (ahem) 25 years ago in Beach Song, and their words still ring true today. The Chop has seen enough oceans that they’re not really a draw anymore, and price-wise OC is comprable to the Bahamas, Mexico, or any number of more exotic resorts. Somehow crappy paintings, sexist t-shirts and sand sculptures of Jesus just aren’t as exciting as they used to be.

Ocean City does have one big redeeming quality in its favor though… namely beautiful women wearing next-to-nothing and acting scandalously.

Gilded Lily Burlesque makes you say 'What beach?' at the Windup Space Tonight. 8 pm doors.

What’s that you say? We don’t have to sit through Bay Bridge traffic, suffer sunburns and get sand in our shorts? We can see the ravishingly raunchy vixens of Gilded Lily Burlesque at the Windup Space instead? Sold. Done. Front row, suckers!

And just like yesterday, we’re in prime position to sneak over to Load of Fun and hit up day one of the Wild Style Reunion.

But we hope you all have fun with your Buffett cover bands and jellyfish stings.

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The Windup Space is at 10 W. North Ave.

Load of Fun is at 120 W. North Ave.

And yes, we are a little bitter we’re not at the beach, Ok?

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LandSpeedRecord!, Free Electric State @ Windup Space Tonight

LandSpeedRecord! is a cool band. Don’t argue with us. Of course they’re a cool band. Why would we write about them if they weren’t? Do you think we made this blog just to tell you about bands that are not cool? That would be dumb. You know what’s not dumb? LandSpeedRecord!, that’s what. Which is why you should go see them at the Windup Space tonight.

LandSpeedRecord ruins your good hair day at the Windup Space tonight. 9 pm doors.

How do we know LandSpeedRecord! is cool, and does not suck? Because we’ve seen them before, duh, and frankly it’s been too long. We also know that they’re cool because they put out 7 records. Has your band put out 7 records? No, of course you haven’t. But LandSpeedRecord! did and they all sound good, up to and including their new release Unfailurelessness.

We could take this opportunity to engage in a fun game of “try to describe their sound by naming a slew of other bands who sound vaguely sort-of like them but not really”, but instead we will just make an analogy, which you can copy down and remember for your SAT’s…

LandSpeedRecord! : Baltimore :: The Dismemberment Plan : DC

Simple enough? The real reason we like LSR! though is because you can dance to them. Not only can you dance, you can also cook dinner to them, or drive down a road or cut your grass or drink or go to the golf ball driving range. This band is so versatile that whatever you happen to be doing, they’ll provide the perfect soundtrack to it.

They’re playing tonight with Free Electric State, who in another time and place were members of Liquor Bike, but now sound nothing like Liquor Bike at all. Apparently between this show, the Puddle/Penny Regime/Pulaski reunion and Maryland Death Fest, it’s actually the summer of ’96 this weekend.

Or maybe it’s the Summer of 1982. It is entirely possible that the best thing about this show is that it’s a block away from Load of Fun Studios, which will easily allow us to be in two places at once since we’re also excited for the Wild Style Reunion this weekend.

This is so cool, we’re not even going to write about it. Just click the link, cancel your beach plans, and go to it.

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The Windup Space is at 10 W. North Ave.

Load of Fun is at 120 W. North Ave.

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