Tag Archives: MLB

Super Sam Fuld Cape Day @ Tropicana Field

The Chop is not the type of baseball fan who needs a bunch of cheap gimmicks to get us in the gate. Cheap beer would be nice, but cheap gimmicks are totally unnecessary. Sure, we’ve got more than our share of Orioles T-shirts, and we might be more likely to show up if we know its bobblehead night or Miller Light Floppy Hat Day, which is pretty much a municipal holiday here in Charm City, but by and large we aren’t impressed by baseball swag.

With that said, we really kinda wish we could attend Super Sam Fuld Cape Day at the Trop.

Wearing a cape is a true fashion statement. It either says 'I'm a superhero,' 'I'm retarded,' or 'I'm drunk.' Guess which one we are.

The Rays might just be the Major League champions of promotional giveaways in 2011. We haven’t looked over the schedules for every team, but they’re definitely on to something with this whole ‘buy a ticket to the ballgame and stay for a concert’ deal, which they’re doing several times this year featuring artists who, while we’re not into them, are at least legitimately famous. They’re also giving away a variety of t-shirts and a few different bobbleheads, as well as a Joe Maddon coin bank which looks more like Phil Rizzuto and an Evan Longoria cereal bowl and spoon set. We can’t tell you how many times we’ve slurped down the last dregs of milk and been frustrated and disappointed not to see a big league 3rd baseman staring back at us. We’re definitely going to be eBay-ing that one.

But the Super Sam Fuld cape absolutely takes the cake. Sure, Fuld is having a great year, but ultimately we’re not sure he’ll ever be more than the answer to an obscure trivia question many years down the road. To us this may be something on the order of the Rollie Fingers wax mustache or the Dustin Pedroia temp-tramp-stamp tattoo. (Okay, we made both of those up, but they could be true.) To our mind, this is absolutely the greatest giveaway since last year’s vuvuzela night in Miami.

The only downside to this awesome, incredible giveaway? It’s only for kids 14 and under. Those little punks have all the fun.

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Bi-Weekly Political Roundup: Boycott Arizona Edition

Once again we’ve made it to the fourth Wednesday of the month, and that means it’s once again time for the twice monthly meeting of the Baltimore chapter of Drinking Liberally at Joe Squared. We had a handful of new faces for tax day, which made for great discussion. If you haven’t made it out yet, come share a pitcher of Dogfish tonight at 7:00.

Baltimore Drinking Liberally meets tonight at Joe Squared. 7 pm.

There’s bound to be much talk tonight about Arizona’s new immigration law. For our part, the Chop thinks Arizona lawmakers are fucking racists and we’re outraged at what amounts to a system of apartheid in Arizona. We don’t say that lightly either. We do believe the law to be unconstitutional as well as morally reprehensible, and we’re all for boycotting the state of Arizona, including moving the 2011 MLB All-Star game out of the state. If baseball is serious about the tolerance and diversity they so celebrated on Jackie Robinson day, they have no choice. If the commissioner fails to act, we hope that Latino and Hispanic players throughout pro-ball at all levels will take it upon themselves to not play in Arizona. This law is worse than homophobic and anti-gay laws in California and elsewhere, because it represents not only a lack of progress, but actual regression.

There may also be some talk of the Goldman Sachs hearings. You’d think that when they have to bleep the news in congress it would be more interesting, but it’s pretty dull. The Masters of the Universe stole as much as they could as fast as they could. What else is new? We will say that we can’t fucking stand listening to Dylan Ratigan anymore. It’s got to the point where we turn off the TV as soon as he appears. He should can his manufactured outrage and take a cue from John Stewart, whose “These Fucking Guys” segments about Goldman are brilliant.

Of course, there’s no shortage of local interest with state campaigns kicking off left and right. Maryland politics are about to get a whole lot more absurd with the return of Bob Ehrlich. The Chop met Bobby Smooth once before he was governor, and when we questioned him on his congressional record in public he literally ran out the door without his change. Fucker. The Chop hereby openly challenges Bob Ehrlich to a bareknuckle boxing match inside the monkey house at the Baltimore zoo. Two men enter, one man leaves. We think we can take the fucker too. Won’t make a monkey out of us.

Seriously though, you should check out this excellent article about MD Republicans on our new favorite website (as of yesterday) Splicetoday.com. It makes the point that we’ve been trying to scream from the rooftops ever since our first 9th grade civics class…

“And more to the point, government is not designed to make a profit, as is business, but is intended to provide goods and services in return for the tax dollars it receives. Ideally, government should be a zero sum enterprise.”

Amen brother. We couldn’t have said it better. It’s time people quit pretending the sky is falling over red ink. It’s time we recognize GOP deficits dwarf Democratic deficits (which are usually of the inherited variety) and that federal tax cuts mean your dumb tea swilling ass pays less taxes now.

Which is what those assholes claim to want, right?

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Filed under Bi-Weekly Political Roundup