Tag Archives: Party

Welcome to the Distant Future!

That’s right Baltimore. Its the distant future. Right now! Today!

It must be the distant future, because we clearly remember being a wee little Chop in the Reagan era and doing the math. We were born in 1980, so In 1990 we’ll be ten, and in the fifth grade with Sister Joan. In the year 2000, we’ll be 20. But that’s a long way off. A loooong way. Twenty is like a grown up almost. I guess Kirk Cameron and Scott Baio are like 20. And in 2010, on March 5, We’ll be 30. That’s the real distant future. Those people on that show Thirtysomething are like 30. I’ll probably never be that old.

The Chop turns 30 tonight.

So here we are in the distant future, on our 30th birthday. We still don’t have the Jetsons’ cars. We still don’t have the hoverboard from Back to the Future II, We still don’t have robot butlers, but the Internet and the iPod aren’t that bad. Didn’t see those coming in 1985.

Without waxing too philosophical, We’ll say that we plan to fully embrace our thirties. We dress better. We’re smarter. We have more money. We own a great house in a great city. We have a career and a lifestyle we love, and we like women a lot more than girls.

We’ve also come to realize who’s who in our life. Some friends have come and gone and never looked back, but some are still here years, decades later. Its one of the most rewarding parts of Baltimore life; We have friends we’ve known for decades now, and who we’ll continue to know for the rest of our life.

So tonight the Chop is staying home for once. We’re hosting friends we’ve known 15, 20, even 25 years. Tonight we gather in our most intimate of intimates for some grown-ass-man, hide the car keys, reach for the top shelf, brown-liquor drinking. We’re going to talk about the Suburbs. We’re going to talk about the old neighborhood in East Balto. We’re going to talk shit on people who haven’t been around to defend themselves in years.

And most of all, we’re going to talk about the distant future.



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Sayonara, Dubin-san

Sigh. Today the Chop doffs our cap one last time to a Baltimorean we well admire; Brian Dubin. He’s off to Japan as of today. What’s he doing there? Who knows. We’ve been gone, you know, and each year that goes by we fall more and more into the trap of allowing internet interactions to substitute for actual interactions.

A Man of Impeccable Taste

Dubin himself has been prone to reclusion over the years, spending long periods in which his only signal to the outside world is posting links to rare Nirvana bootlegs to Facebook. When he does come out though, man, does he ever. Dubin has been a part of some of the most crucial Baltimore bands of the last decade, including the Charm City Suicides, the New Flesh, and Fascist Fascist. It’s little remembered that he was even the original drummer for Double Dagger. He’s also been a regular contributor to the Mobtown Shank, filling you in on music you might not have known about otherwise. So his body of work and influence in these parts won’t be soon forgotten.

We also plan to do a bit of finger wagging at his (surprise!) bon voyage party tonight though, since we are firmly on record as being very much opposed to anyone moving away from Charm City for any reason. But we do wish you all the luck and success Dubin, even if we hope secretly that you’ll decide to come back soon.

Whatever you want to do Baltimore, you can do it right here. Whatever you want to be, you can be right here.
And if everyone who ever dumped us like a fugly, snaggle-toothed hook-up had stayed, Baltimore would now be the Mecca you wish it was.


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